I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
