he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
