okay pat passed out under dana's car
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
