I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You've changed since you got that strap on
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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