brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
