i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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