Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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