But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
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