I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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