careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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