I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
