my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
