Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
