today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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