ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
