The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
