im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize