just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
