fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
