ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
