so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize