my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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