We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Randomize
