I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
