he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
