So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
