Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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