well you can't waste a boner
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
