and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
