you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
