i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Panties = found
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
