is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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