Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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