i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
