you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
