Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
is that a dick in a sweater?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
