just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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