Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
worst night to have a conscience
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
