it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
