My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
