his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize