You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
