I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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