Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
