there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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