At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Michael Bay diarrhea
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
