I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Too much gin, very little bucket
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
