Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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