Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
