what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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