I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
