She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
