What a fucking waste of an outfit
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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