Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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