my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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