I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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