He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
