Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
