he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
