Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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