Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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