i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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