So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
