Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
