Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
