Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
