There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
