Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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