And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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