Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
