that's an acceptable place to lick
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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