I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize
