quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
