Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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