if you like me you must not know who I am
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
