Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
