He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
