so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
